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Mood:
Depressed -
Listening to: My Anime Song Collection
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Reading: Mahou Sensei Negima (Magister Negi Magi)
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Watching: Animax (Waiting for 'Appleseed')
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Playing: A lot
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Eating: Much
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Drinking: More Much Most
Ahhhhh......
6 month later after the last journal entry, some things happen to me, gives some craziness, depressions, and lots more.
Especially HATRED.
Now...
Let's start to what happen to me.
Practicing to draw humans.
I can play with their poses and eyes, but not face.
And especially the head's shape.
Totally strange.
I can't form a good head shape to put their mouth, ears, and nose.
All I can put to my face shape is only the eyes.
Sometimes in drawing humans, I accidentally formed a mecha or a weapon.
Or maybe a dragon race creature, or else.
Cannot really concentrate for humans, tough.
More and more Hatreds..
I really want to leave this family, for some reason.
This family only gives me pains!!
And everytime they need something, they give all the burden to ME!
What's on thier mind!?
Killing me!?
Why don't just tell me?!
I can jump off the roof!
And I won't be in this LIVING HELL!!!
Such a crazy living!
When I'm able to leave this family, make sure your 'fortress' wont be fallen!
I want to find somewhere to scream as loud as I can!!!
Phew....
That's it... Enough....
My 'heart attack' seems to be stronger, makes whole of my body feels hurt.
Also, my mind feels don't want to be active.
Makes me feel sleepy all day.
I'm on an exam right now, actually.
But I didn't tell anyone yet.
Keep it a secret.
All this time, all I need, all I want, is not much.
A freedom, secondary mind, a "friend".
haduh haduh, practice human itu emang gak instant! raika aja bikin human itu latihan sekitar 2 tahun!
pertama coba bikin pake rangka aja!
aah, raika juga punya penyakit heart attack! tapi as long as you keep your body health, it's no matter at all...
trus, yg soal keluarga, jgn dipikirin aja! gak ada keluarga yg punya tujuan kyk yg quantum-force pikirin!
ada pepatah:
dunia itu bulat, apapun yg anda lakukan, akan kembali kepada anda berkali lipat.
jadi, kita harus berhati-hati sama apa yang bakal kita lakuin dan pikirin.
emang susah sih, tapi we won't know untill we try...
relax, raikaa disini juga pernah alamin apa yg kau rasakan...
tapi, hidup kita itu kan bagaikan cerita, dan smua pertanyaan pasti slalu ada jawaban.
jangan sedih dan depresi yaa quantum-force-chaan!
GANBATTE NE~~~
Haaaahhh...
Familyku normal-normal aja.... Dalam pandangan mereka.
'Segalanya harus aku', itulah yang sedang terjadi.
Tiap kali selesai disuruh-suruh, akan terdengar suara dak-duk dari kamarku.
Tau sendiri lah suara apa itu.
Nobody commands me, not even ask for my help.
Ohhh, eksperimen pake rangka itu, yah?
Dipake buat pose yang mecha, soalnya kalo ngegambar orang kan jarang banget ada orang yang bawaannya banyak dan gede-gede, jadi langsung ke posenya.
Kalo mecha baru gambar rangka dulu, biar ntar kemungkinan bagian yang terlihat bisa diperhitungkan.
O iya, jangan panggil username utuh gitu yah?
Panggil aja 'Fray' atau 'QF'.